So it's been quite a while since I updated.
I apologize for that, I've been quite busy. Forgive me? Ok great, lets move on.
I am no longer employed by Wal-Mart. I was offered a better job. Better in the sense that it's a hell of a lot more fun, full time, and I'll get to see 3/4s of my children at work on a daily basis after Sept. 2nd. So How could I turn that down? I work at the triplet's preschool, by the way. Lots of fun to be had there!
In other news, thanks to the assistance of someone I've known for like 20 years or more, I will be going back to school starting September 8th. My classes will be online, but it's not one of those crap schools, its a real school, and its the same exact degree I'd get if I actually went to the school. So yay me! I've wanted to go back to school for a long time, but something or other has stopped it from happening, not to mention I lacked the confidence to try. But hey, even if I fail miserably, I won't be sitting around feeling all pathetic for not even trying.
I was in a car accident not that long ago. An 88 year old woman ran a stop sign, and ran right into my van. The kids were in the van too. No one was hurt, except the van. So her insurance payed for the repairs, and new car seats for the trio, and a sweet ass rental van that I didn't want to give back. Unfortunately, Kelli has been a bit short of cash lately, and car insurance was one of those things that got neglected. So I'm in some trouble now.
Not a whole lot else happening in Kelli's world, but perhaps I'll leave you with this bit of advice that Alex is now well aware of:
Kelli is clumsy. If you loan her your scooter to play on, not only will the scooter return scratched, but she will return with a bruise the size of a grapefruit on her thigh.
Thanks for the read!
Kel
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Life lessons, cliffhangers, and being kicked
My children learned some pretty hard lessons this week. Lessons that everyone needs to know as they grow in this world, but they are tough lessons that just can't be explained properly.
Josh, learned two lessons this week. Neither pleasant.
First he learned that when your brother stands on your, well, tender bits, it causes extreme pain, tears, and a belly ache. I think this is a lesson any of my male blog readers will recall learning several times in their lives.
The second lesson Josh learned applies to both sexes. He learned that when you stick your hand in your mouth, and down your throat, that this action brings forth vomit. Poor Josh has vomited before, but never in this manner.
Poor Morgan learned perhaps the most serious of lessons. That when you leave your bedroom windows unlocked, it makes it quite possible for someone to open said window and screen in the night, and grab your head to wake you up. Causing screaming, and running across the room. Luckily, the grabber was me. I accidentally locked Alex and myself out of the house when we went for a late night dip in the pool, and I went to wake her up to let me in. I was of course not intending to scare the holy hell out of her, but perhaps it was a good thing. She hasn't left her windows unlocked since.
The other night, in a conversation, my loving (?) boyfriend Alex made the following statement:
"You make me want to kick you." (he paused for a second then continued) "In a loving way, of course. Painfully loving, but loving."
I don't think that was very nice of him.
So Alex and I were having a discussion the other night, about life's little cliffhangers. He and I are both people watchers. A lot of the time, you witness little dramas or incidents, and then you never get to see how they turn out.
Friday, we went to Indiana Beach, and went to a concession stand for drinks. The first concerning thing was that the two teen girls inside were too busy screwing around to pay attention to the fact that there were people in line. Then one girl looked at the other, and said "Damn, you have a big head!" So Big Head Girl (BHG from now on) grabs a butcher knife, and pretends to threaten the other girl. They then decided we were worthy of placing our order, and began to prepare it. BHG asked Girl 1 a question, earning the phrase "You are fucking retarded." from Girl 1. Then they began throwing ice at each other. The slushes we ordered tasted oily, and chemically. After they were replaced, I went to the park office, and complained about the girl's behavior. I was mostly just pissed off that they were acting that way in front of children. MY children. The woman I complained to was visibly angry, and went to immediately find a manager. But we never found out what happened after that.
A second example, Alex and I were driving to Lafayette this weekend, and we got stuck behind a really slow car. But as we drove on, I realized it wasn't just a slow driver, the person was all over the road. Crossing the center line on several occasions, and having many near misses. I called the police from my phone, but we were stuck behind the person for another 20 minutes or so, and nothing ever happened, so hopefully, they didn't kill anyone.
Thanks to those that were worried about my kitty. He has an infection, and has been taking kitty antibiotics, and is getting checked again in two weeks.
Thanks for reading,
Kel
Josh, learned two lessons this week. Neither pleasant.
First he learned that when your brother stands on your, well, tender bits, it causes extreme pain, tears, and a belly ache. I think this is a lesson any of my male blog readers will recall learning several times in their lives.
The second lesson Josh learned applies to both sexes. He learned that when you stick your hand in your mouth, and down your throat, that this action brings forth vomit. Poor Josh has vomited before, but never in this manner.
Poor Morgan learned perhaps the most serious of lessons. That when you leave your bedroom windows unlocked, it makes it quite possible for someone to open said window and screen in the night, and grab your head to wake you up. Causing screaming, and running across the room. Luckily, the grabber was me. I accidentally locked Alex and myself out of the house when we went for a late night dip in the pool, and I went to wake her up to let me in. I was of course not intending to scare the holy hell out of her, but perhaps it was a good thing. She hasn't left her windows unlocked since.
The other night, in a conversation, my loving (?) boyfriend Alex made the following statement:
"You make me want to kick you." (he paused for a second then continued) "In a loving way, of course. Painfully loving, but loving."
I don't think that was very nice of him.
So Alex and I were having a discussion the other night, about life's little cliffhangers. He and I are both people watchers. A lot of the time, you witness little dramas or incidents, and then you never get to see how they turn out.
Friday, we went to Indiana Beach, and went to a concession stand for drinks. The first concerning thing was that the two teen girls inside were too busy screwing around to pay attention to the fact that there were people in line. Then one girl looked at the other, and said "Damn, you have a big head!" So Big Head Girl (BHG from now on) grabs a butcher knife, and pretends to threaten the other girl. They then decided we were worthy of placing our order, and began to prepare it. BHG asked Girl 1 a question, earning the phrase "You are fucking retarded." from Girl 1. Then they began throwing ice at each other. The slushes we ordered tasted oily, and chemically. After they were replaced, I went to the park office, and complained about the girl's behavior. I was mostly just pissed off that they were acting that way in front of children. MY children. The woman I complained to was visibly angry, and went to immediately find a manager. But we never found out what happened after that.
A second example, Alex and I were driving to Lafayette this weekend, and we got stuck behind a really slow car. But as we drove on, I realized it wasn't just a slow driver, the person was all over the road. Crossing the center line on several occasions, and having many near misses. I called the police from my phone, but we were stuck behind the person for another 20 minutes or so, and nothing ever happened, so hopefully, they didn't kill anyone.
Thanks to those that were worried about my kitty. He has an infection, and has been taking kitty antibiotics, and is getting checked again in two weeks.
Thanks for reading,
Kel
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
A Deep Survey (Thanks Em!)
Can You Spill Your Deep Dark Secrets?
Who is the last person that hurt your feelings? This morning when Eric found out I had the day off he cried because that meant Grandma wasn't coming.
Would you consider plastic surgery? Yes. I have serious plans for a tummy tuck someday.
What is bothering you at this moment? Physically, my feet hurt. Emotionally, worrying about whether I'm a good mother.
Ever started a rumor about someone? No.
Whats the craziest reason why you broke up with someone? I don't know. It takes a lot for me to break up with someone.
Have you ever been accused of cheating on a partner? Yeah.
Ever lied about your age? Maybe when I was younger, to seem older. But I wouldn't lie to seem younger.
Last time you masturbated? It's been a few weeks. Haven't felt the need to.
Ever felt the need to change yourself for someone? Hmm. I've wanted to be a better person, to make the people I care about proud of me, but I don't want to change who I really am.
When is the last time you prayed? When I was a child and still believed such things made a difference.
Do you watch porn? rarely.
Have any of your ex's turned gay? Hmmm. No. I was going to go on a date with someone once who later told me that he was actually gay, and wasn't admitting it to himself yet.
What do you wish you did for a living? Writing books.
What is worse a cheater or a liar? Neither is worse than the other.
Do you still have stuffed animals? Of course! lol
Do you dance around in your underwear? not usually. I dance in the shower though, which might not be wise since I am a klutz.
Do you own a dildo or vibrator? Yep.
Are you a picky person? yes
Do you wish your boobs were bigger? Oh no. My boobs are glorious and I love them just the way they are.
What do you find yourself doing while laying in bed? Sleep mostly. Occasionally TV or a book and...
Ever been skinny dipping? Sadly, no.
How many times have you checked up on your ex? Hmm. I don't check up on him, but I talk to him at least every other day. Mostly about the kids though.
Do you consider yourself trust worthy? I don't know. Mostly yes.
Ever used a fake ID or one that wasn't you? no
How old was your oldest sexual partner? hmmm. Same age as me usually. the biggest age difference was 10 years though.
Have you ever faked an orgasm? What's the point?! If you fake it the guy thinks he doing things right! Unless of course he doesn't care if you have one or not, but it's pointless then too.
If your last ex apologized would you get back with them? no
What family member are you closest to? My brother Shawn.
What does death teach us about life? that it ends at anytime.
If nothing was holding you back, where would you live and why? Hmm. Ireland. In the US, probably just move a lot.
When was the last time you cried? Saturday.
What is the earliest memory you have of a sibling? My earliest memory of Shawn is being a year or two old, and standing in my crib, I had torn my diaper up (again) and Shawn walked in and yelled "Uh-oh Mom! She did it again!" The first of many tattlings.
What is the earliest photograph of yourself that you have that you remember when it was taken? My brother and I on a couch. I was maybe 3. He and I both have our mouths open showing off our gum. My mom sent it to my dad while he was in jail.
How did you meet your first boyfriend or girlfriend? Skate corral!
Describe your typical day, from wake to sleep. Wake up. Drive Alex wherever he needs to be. Make breakfast. Watch TV and play with kids. Make lunch. Go to work. Come home. Late night dinner with Alex, then TV or movie, then sleep.
What would be your ideal birthday present, and why? gift cards or money. Or something that the person picked out that is just perfect for me.
Think of a loved one that you have lost. If you could ask this person one question, what would you ask, and what do you think they would say? I'd have so many questions. Too many to list.
What is the best advice you ever received? That I've spent most of my life doing everything I can to make other people happy, usually causing my own misery, and that it was time for me to start doing things to make me happy.
If you were to die today what would like people to say about you? That I was a great mother, and a caring person.
If you could be anybody, who would you be? myself only thinner and richer!
What is the most important aspect of your life and why? My children. Why wouldn't they be?!
Where would you travel, if you could go anywhere? Ireland first. England. Then all over the US.
What time period you would like to be born in? I like this one. I couldn't live without internet!
If your best friend came to you depressed and upset like you've never seen before, how would you react? I'd do whatever it takes to fix it. Just like she does with me.
Would you be a different person today if you had a different childhood? Yes.
If you could build a car customized just for you, what would it contain? I'd get a Purple Mustang convertible with a black top. (the chauffeur would drive behind me with the kids. LOL)
When have you realized you were really wrong in your judgment about someone? It happens too often.
How do you react when you realize you've made a mistake? I'm way too hard on myself about it.
If you had to sacrifice one of your senses (taste, touch, smell, sight, hearing), which would you choose and why? I couldn't choose. I love to eat, so taste and smell is good. I love my children, so I want to see and hear them, and I am a very touchy feely person. So I can't lose that either.
Who has more power the government or the people? government because all the people let them.
Did I recently have an interesting conversation? Usually I try to have interesting conversations.
Who is the person that I feel has altered the course of my morals and values, and how did they effect me? I have no idea.
What is my earliest or happiest memory? Playing in the snow with my brother.
Which amendment to the constitution is the most important to you and why? I have no idea.
Is speech always free? When and where might it not be free? Hardly ever. lol You never get to say the things you want to say.
When were you the happiest this year? I'm fairly happy right now.
Recall a place, person or event, what emotion do you remember feeling most strongly? The intense love I felt the days my babies were born.
Which friend has had the greatest impact on your life and why? Tammy always tells me when I'm fucking up. I don't always listen, but she's usually right.
Describe your dream house, room by room. Damn that would make this so long. Lots of rooms, lots of yard.
Imagine you are attending your dream concert—what songs would you want to be played? What does the stage look like? Seeing the Cure with me right up front!
If you could learn any new language, which one would you choose and why? Hmm. I don't know.
What are a few qualities you dislike in other people, and why? Dishonesty. Selfcenteredness.
What music makes you want to get up and dance? Why don't you? 80s. I don't because I cannot dance.
How would you spend your time if you were wealthy? Traveling.
What is one of your most personal hopes and dreams? Write a book.
How do others see you? Shy at first. Usually.
What would you do if you had all the money in the world? What would be the point!?
Complete this sentence: Love is… I thought of at least 3 cliche lines to end that with. But I don't know how to really end it. Lets say, often painful, and messy, but very much worth it.
What are you most grateful for? My babies.
Why is your best friend your best friend? Because she knows when I'm bullshitting her and calls me on it. She also keeps me in perspective.
What is a place that inspires you? Somewhere quiet and woodsy.
What is the best decision you have ever made in your life? My choice to be a mommy.
Will You Impress A Person By Fighting Someone to get them to Like You? no
Do You Have demons in your life? ummm? No.
Have You Ever Wanted To Be The Best Person In The World? who wants to be that? Perfection is overrated.
Are You Happy? yes. Right now, I am.
Who is the last person that hurt your feelings? This morning when Eric found out I had the day off he cried because that meant Grandma wasn't coming.
Would you consider plastic surgery? Yes. I have serious plans for a tummy tuck someday.
What is bothering you at this moment? Physically, my feet hurt. Emotionally, worrying about whether I'm a good mother.
Ever started a rumor about someone? No.
Whats the craziest reason why you broke up with someone? I don't know. It takes a lot for me to break up with someone.
Have you ever been accused of cheating on a partner? Yeah.
Ever lied about your age? Maybe when I was younger, to seem older. But I wouldn't lie to seem younger.
Last time you masturbated? It's been a few weeks. Haven't felt the need to.
Ever felt the need to change yourself for someone? Hmm. I've wanted to be a better person, to make the people I care about proud of me, but I don't want to change who I really am.
When is the last time you prayed? When I was a child and still believed such things made a difference.
Do you watch porn? rarely.
Have any of your ex's turned gay? Hmmm. No. I was going to go on a date with someone once who later told me that he was actually gay, and wasn't admitting it to himself yet.
What do you wish you did for a living? Writing books.
What is worse a cheater or a liar? Neither is worse than the other.
Do you still have stuffed animals? Of course! lol
Do you dance around in your underwear? not usually. I dance in the shower though, which might not be wise since I am a klutz.
Do you own a dildo or vibrator? Yep.
Are you a picky person? yes
Do you wish your boobs were bigger? Oh no. My boobs are glorious and I love them just the way they are.
What do you find yourself doing while laying in bed? Sleep mostly. Occasionally TV or a book and...
Ever been skinny dipping? Sadly, no.
How many times have you checked up on your ex? Hmm. I don't check up on him, but I talk to him at least every other day. Mostly about the kids though.
Do you consider yourself trust worthy? I don't know. Mostly yes.
Ever used a fake ID or one that wasn't you? no
How old was your oldest sexual partner? hmmm. Same age as me usually. the biggest age difference was 10 years though.
Have you ever faked an orgasm? What's the point?! If you fake it the guy thinks he doing things right! Unless of course he doesn't care if you have one or not, but it's pointless then too.
If your last ex apologized would you get back with them? no
What family member are you closest to? My brother Shawn.
What does death teach us about life? that it ends at anytime.
If nothing was holding you back, where would you live and why? Hmm. Ireland. In the US, probably just move a lot.
When was the last time you cried? Saturday.
What is the earliest memory you have of a sibling? My earliest memory of Shawn is being a year or two old, and standing in my crib, I had torn my diaper up (again) and Shawn walked in and yelled "Uh-oh Mom! She did it again!" The first of many tattlings.
What is the earliest photograph of yourself that you have that you remember when it was taken? My brother and I on a couch. I was maybe 3. He and I both have our mouths open showing off our gum. My mom sent it to my dad while he was in jail.
How did you meet your first boyfriend or girlfriend? Skate corral!
Describe your typical day, from wake to sleep. Wake up. Drive Alex wherever he needs to be. Make breakfast. Watch TV and play with kids. Make lunch. Go to work. Come home. Late night dinner with Alex, then TV or movie, then sleep.
What would be your ideal birthday present, and why? gift cards or money. Or something that the person picked out that is just perfect for me.
Think of a loved one that you have lost. If you could ask this person one question, what would you ask, and what do you think they would say? I'd have so many questions. Too many to list.
What is the best advice you ever received? That I've spent most of my life doing everything I can to make other people happy, usually causing my own misery, and that it was time for me to start doing things to make me happy.
If you were to die today what would like people to say about you? That I was a great mother, and a caring person.
If you could be anybody, who would you be? myself only thinner and richer!
What is the most important aspect of your life and why? My children. Why wouldn't they be?!
Where would you travel, if you could go anywhere? Ireland first. England. Then all over the US.
What time period you would like to be born in? I like this one. I couldn't live without internet!
If your best friend came to you depressed and upset like you've never seen before, how would you react? I'd do whatever it takes to fix it. Just like she does with me.
Would you be a different person today if you had a different childhood? Yes.
If you could build a car customized just for you, what would it contain? I'd get a Purple Mustang convertible with a black top. (the chauffeur would drive behind me with the kids. LOL)
When have you realized you were really wrong in your judgment about someone? It happens too often.
How do you react when you realize you've made a mistake? I'm way too hard on myself about it.
If you had to sacrifice one of your senses (taste, touch, smell, sight, hearing), which would you choose and why? I couldn't choose. I love to eat, so taste and smell is good. I love my children, so I want to see and hear them, and I am a very touchy feely person. So I can't lose that either.
Who has more power the government or the people? government because all the people let them.
Did I recently have an interesting conversation? Usually I try to have interesting conversations.
Who is the person that I feel has altered the course of my morals and values, and how did they effect me? I have no idea.
What is my earliest or happiest memory? Playing in the snow with my brother.
Which amendment to the constitution is the most important to you and why? I have no idea.
Is speech always free? When and where might it not be free? Hardly ever. lol You never get to say the things you want to say.
When were you the happiest this year? I'm fairly happy right now.
Recall a place, person or event, what emotion do you remember feeling most strongly? The intense love I felt the days my babies were born.
Which friend has had the greatest impact on your life and why? Tammy always tells me when I'm fucking up. I don't always listen, but she's usually right.
Describe your dream house, room by room. Damn that would make this so long. Lots of rooms, lots of yard.
Imagine you are attending your dream concert—what songs would you want to be played? What does the stage look like? Seeing the Cure with me right up front!
If you could learn any new language, which one would you choose and why? Hmm. I don't know.
What are a few qualities you dislike in other people, and why? Dishonesty. Selfcenteredness.
What music makes you want to get up and dance? Why don't you? 80s. I don't because I cannot dance.
How would you spend your time if you were wealthy? Traveling.
What is one of your most personal hopes and dreams? Write a book.
How do others see you? Shy at first. Usually.
What would you do if you had all the money in the world? What would be the point!?
Complete this sentence: Love is… I thought of at least 3 cliche lines to end that with. But I don't know how to really end it. Lets say, often painful, and messy, but very much worth it.
What are you most grateful for? My babies.
Why is your best friend your best friend? Because she knows when I'm bullshitting her and calls me on it. She also keeps me in perspective.
What is a place that inspires you? Somewhere quiet and woodsy.
What is the best decision you have ever made in your life? My choice to be a mommy.
Will You Impress A Person By Fighting Someone to get them to Like You? no
Do You Have demons in your life? ummm? No.
Have You Ever Wanted To Be The Best Person In The World? who wants to be that? Perfection is overrated.
Are You Happy? yes. Right now, I am.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
My Job
Not much time for blogging lately I'm afraid. They have me working as many hours as they can without calling me "Full Time" even though I'm getting part time pay and benefits.
This is my 100th blog, but no one ever submitted questions like I asked, so I have none to answer. Thanks to those of you who read my blogs. Are there any of you that have actually read them all?
There are good parts and bad parts about the new job.
Bad parts are: Well the working all the time thing. The other day, a manager made me take out my lip ring. I've worked with 3 managers higher up than her, and non of them made me take it out. Also, I was one of 7 employees walking around with a facial piercing. *I* was the only one told to remove it. I also don't like being away from my children. Today Eric cried because he wanted to go to work with me, and I had to tell him no.
Plus, I miss things.
The other day, I was in the bathroom, getting ready for work, and I heard screams of laughter from the living room. I heard a thunder of feet as the trio ran down the hallway. Josh came running into the bathroom, giggling madly yelling "Willy Wonka farted!"
Today I have been given a group of stuffed animals that I am ordered to take to work with me. I will tell the kids that I carried them around all night. Of course it will be a lie. I will have to leave them in the car.
The good things about my job are, well, the women I work with are all really nice and friendly. Plus the added bonus of people watching.
Well, I have to go make lunch for my kids, and then get ready for work. Thanks for reading.
~Kel
This is my 100th blog, but no one ever submitted questions like I asked, so I have none to answer. Thanks to those of you who read my blogs. Are there any of you that have actually read them all?
There are good parts and bad parts about the new job.
Bad parts are: Well the working all the time thing. The other day, a manager made me take out my lip ring. I've worked with 3 managers higher up than her, and non of them made me take it out. Also, I was one of 7 employees walking around with a facial piercing. *I* was the only one told to remove it. I also don't like being away from my children. Today Eric cried because he wanted to go to work with me, and I had to tell him no.
Plus, I miss things.
The other day, I was in the bathroom, getting ready for work, and I heard screams of laughter from the living room. I heard a thunder of feet as the trio ran down the hallway. Josh came running into the bathroom, giggling madly yelling "Willy Wonka farted!"
Today I have been given a group of stuffed animals that I am ordered to take to work with me. I will tell the kids that I carried them around all night. Of course it will be a lie. I will have to leave them in the car.
The good things about my job are, well, the women I work with are all really nice and friendly. Plus the added bonus of people watching.
Well, I have to go make lunch for my kids, and then get ready for work. Thanks for reading.
~Kel
Sunday, June 1, 2008
A day in my world
My kids are a constant source of amusement. I say that a lot, but for those of you who know them, you know it is true. I'm not just doing that whole mom blind spot thing where I'm bragging about things that aren't true.
Want some proof? Why not read several snippets from a day in Kelli's world:
Yesterday, somewhat spontaneously, it was decided that a trip to the Zoo was in order for the Sunday activity. We got up fairly early for a Sunday, and had some breakfast before heading out. Now, I always ambitiously set a time I'd like to leave by, and almost always fail miserably at it. I think we left town at 10:30ish. Of course, part of that lateness was due to forgetting the zoo pass at home. But we won't dwell on my forgetfulness, ok? Ok.
So... I have always been fascinated by toddler/preschooler conversations. When one or two or even three toddler/preschoolers have a conversation, the results are usually hilarious. I get to overhear these conversations a lot. But the funniest times are when I hear just a bit of a conversation, and I don't know what came before, or what came after, but what I did hear just throws me. For example. While driving today, I heard the following from my Josh:
"I am freaking out! There was a girl there, and she freaked out on me!"
Now. If any of you know what the hell that's about, feel free to explain in the comments.
We arrived in Indianapolis today, to find that the exit Google Maps wanted us to take was closed. Luckily it was one of those exits that right after it, is an exit to the same street going the opposite direction. So we were quickly back on track, or so we thought...
We quickly encountered a traffic officer. Waving us to turn the way we did not want to turn. I took this in stride, expecting to just turn at the next road, and go back. Oh but NoooooooOOoooOOOoo...
As I was driving, I noticed that every turn going that direction, also had an officer waving people away. Around this time, I noticed a giant, massively huge, long ass line of motorcycles. It was at this moment that I realized that I had been hearing about some huge ride for charity on the radio recently, and decided this was probably it. So I drove up the road, and then got a little lost.
Now, here is another fun Mommy moment:
Frustrated with my inability to cross one MAIN road in Indy (W. Washington for those in the know) and the fact that I was all turned around and lost, the following conversation took place:
Me: (to Alex) Ugh! I don't even know where I am right now!
Alex opened his mouth to respond, when from the back of the van came:
Josh: Hey Alex! (this was yelled)
Alex: (distractedly, because we were trying to figure out what to do next) What Josh?
Josh: Where's my mom at?
Alex: (points at me, still distracted) She's right there.
Josh: Hey Mom! You're right there! That's where you are!
Laughter followed.
We eventually arrived at the zoo. And headed to have lunch. The lunch came with animal crackers, and the kids weren't too hungry. After lunch they decided they didn't want the crackers. Josh gave me his bag to eat, and Eric gave his bag to Alex. I was talking to Eric, shortly after, and offered him a cookie from Josh's bag. Eric just bit the head off, and walked away. It was at this point that Alex looked into the bag of cookies Eric had gifted him, and found that all of them were headless. He had eaten only the heads.
Other amusement came in the form of animal confusion. When we got to the Rhino area, Eric yelled "Look a triceratops!" Josh later pointed at the Ostriches and said he wanted to go see the big chickens. I corrected him and told him what they were. A few minutes later, he was calling them "sausages." Sort of sounds the same, right?
I love my kids!
My next blog is my 100th. So, if you read this, send me as many random questions as you can think of, and I will do my best to answer them all in my next blog!
Thanks for reading!
~Kel
Want some proof? Why not read several snippets from a day in Kelli's world:
Yesterday, somewhat spontaneously, it was decided that a trip to the Zoo was in order for the Sunday activity. We got up fairly early for a Sunday, and had some breakfast before heading out. Now, I always ambitiously set a time I'd like to leave by, and almost always fail miserably at it. I think we left town at 10:30ish. Of course, part of that lateness was due to forgetting the zoo pass at home. But we won't dwell on my forgetfulness, ok? Ok.
So... I have always been fascinated by toddler/preschooler conversations. When one or two or even three toddler/preschoolers have a conversation, the results are usually hilarious. I get to overhear these conversations a lot. But the funniest times are when I hear just a bit of a conversation, and I don't know what came before, or what came after, but what I did hear just throws me. For example. While driving today, I heard the following from my Josh:
"I am freaking out! There was a girl there, and she freaked out on me!"
Now. If any of you know what the hell that's about, feel free to explain in the comments.
We arrived in Indianapolis today, to find that the exit Google Maps wanted us to take was closed. Luckily it was one of those exits that right after it, is an exit to the same street going the opposite direction. So we were quickly back on track, or so we thought...
We quickly encountered a traffic officer. Waving us to turn the way we did not want to turn. I took this in stride, expecting to just turn at the next road, and go back. Oh but NoooooooOOoooOOOoo...
As I was driving, I noticed that every turn going that direction, also had an officer waving people away. Around this time, I noticed a giant, massively huge, long ass line of motorcycles. It was at this moment that I realized that I had been hearing about some huge ride for charity on the radio recently, and decided this was probably it. So I drove up the road, and then got a little lost.
Now, here is another fun Mommy moment:
Frustrated with my inability to cross one MAIN road in Indy (W. Washington for those in the know) and the fact that I was all turned around and lost, the following conversation took place:
Me: (to Alex) Ugh! I don't even know where I am right now!
Alex opened his mouth to respond, when from the back of the van came:
Josh: Hey Alex! (this was yelled)
Alex: (distractedly, because we were trying to figure out what to do next) What Josh?
Josh: Where's my mom at?
Alex: (points at me, still distracted) She's right there.
Josh: Hey Mom! You're right there! That's where you are!
Laughter followed.
We eventually arrived at the zoo. And headed to have lunch. The lunch came with animal crackers, and the kids weren't too hungry. After lunch they decided they didn't want the crackers. Josh gave me his bag to eat, and Eric gave his bag to Alex. I was talking to Eric, shortly after, and offered him a cookie from Josh's bag. Eric just bit the head off, and walked away. It was at this point that Alex looked into the bag of cookies Eric had gifted him, and found that all of them were headless. He had eaten only the heads.
Other amusement came in the form of animal confusion. When we got to the Rhino area, Eric yelled "Look a triceratops!" Josh later pointed at the Ostriches and said he wanted to go see the big chickens. I corrected him and told him what they were. A few minutes later, he was calling them "sausages." Sort of sounds the same, right?
I love my kids!
My next blog is my 100th. So, if you read this, send me as many random questions as you can think of, and I will do my best to answer them all in my next blog!
Thanks for reading!
~Kel
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Stress, Drunks, and Stone Temple Pilots!
Stress sucks.
The job search isn't going well. The only place that has responded to my resume asked some crazy, and possibly illegal stuff on the application. Stuff that makes me not even remotely interested in working there. But, they called for an interview, and I'm going to go, because recent events have moved me into the DESPERATE category as far as needing a job.
Habitat for Humanity has been doing a bit of harassment lately. Mostly it consists of begging Adam and I to go to counseling. We have both explained, that it wasn't a sudden decision, that we have had problems for a long time, and finally decided we just couldn't make it work. They don't listen though. They think that it is based upon temporary hiccups in life.
So now their thing is, that they think that I can't afford to keep the house on my own. With the child support, alone, it will be tight, but I can do it. But they won't consider the fact that I will (hopefully) have a job soon, and that I have family to help in the meantime. So they are threatening to take my house. They say even though I have enough to make all the payments, if I hit one speed bump, I wouldn't be able to handle it.
I'd say 90% of the people in the US are living paycheck to paycheck just like that.
So yesterday I got to go to Carb Day. It was pretty cool. I only got to see the cars run for 11 minutes, because of the rain, but seeing Stone Temple Pilots was worth being in the rain all day! The concert was full of more assholes than usually found in a concert crowd, but I think that was directly proportionate to the fact that you were allowed to bring beer or whatever into the track, so 75% of the crowd was smashed.
The cops were standing over the crowd with paintball guns that had like pepper balls in it. Little balls filled with pepper spray or mace. Whenever someone got out of control, or a fight started, they were pepper balled. Someone near us was shot, and that sucked. My eyes burned, I couldn't stop coughing, and my nose wouldn't stop itching. I also got a wicked headache.
I've always been surprised at the helpful group mentality at a concert. My first concert was like Spin Doctors and Gin Blossoms, I think, and I got in the pit, it wasn't a brutal pit, but I was always surprised at how when someone fell down, those nearest to the faller would stop and make sort of a blockade to protect the fallen from being trampled until they were up again. Even though the crowd was mostly composed of drunk and/or stoned assholes, that attitude was still there.
A girl trying to force her way to the front, tried to get by me. I was trying to hold the spot I was in, so I lied and told her I couldn't move. So she just sort of threw her drunken whore ass between me and the couple I was near, she succeeded in knocking over about 7 people. When the couple got up, the guy started yelling at her, and a fight almost broke out. But everyone around us, who saw what happened, started yelling "Push this bitch to the back." and they all pushed in front of her until she was way back in the back. They passed the word along with her about what she did.
My oldest, Morgan was at the concert, and my brother and Step-Dad hung out with her, so Alex and I could push to the front, so they took Morgan over by the State Police post near the crowd so that it would be mostly safe for her, and she wouldn't be subjected to the usual concert goer behavior (drugs, insanity, and boobie flashing). Morgan stood on a cooler to get a better view, cause she's just short, and at one point a drunk girl knocked her off the cooler stumble/dancing as drunk girls do. Another random drunk girl witnessed this, and apparently ripped her a new ass over knocking over a little girl.
The only part I didn't enjoy about the concert, was that Scott Weiland's constant preaching at the crowd about not drinking too much and not getting out of control. I get that he's all clean now, and I wasn't drinking or anything else, but honestly, it's a bit insulting coming from him. My brother saw him once. He said a group of guys carried him passed out into a bar, the guys all had a bunch of drinks, then carried the still unconscious Scott back out of the bar.
After the concert, there were massive lines at the portable toilets. It was a good 15 or 20 minute wait. Just when Alex got to the front of that potty line, a drunk guy wandered in front of him. Alex said something to him, and the guy said "Look, you are just going to have to kick my ass, because I'm going next." It continued like that for a minute or so, and I was a bit worried, but then the line behind Alex got involved and began getting in the guy's face too, and he just stumbled off.
All in all it was just a great day.
Until Morgan heard something bad and asked me what a blow job was. But that's a story for another time.
Thanks for reading! Sorry I rambled so long!
~Kel
The job search isn't going well. The only place that has responded to my resume asked some crazy, and possibly illegal stuff on the application. Stuff that makes me not even remotely interested in working there. But, they called for an interview, and I'm going to go, because recent events have moved me into the DESPERATE category as far as needing a job.
Habitat for Humanity has been doing a bit of harassment lately. Mostly it consists of begging Adam and I to go to counseling. We have both explained, that it wasn't a sudden decision, that we have had problems for a long time, and finally decided we just couldn't make it work. They don't listen though. They think that it is based upon temporary hiccups in life.
So now their thing is, that they think that I can't afford to keep the house on my own. With the child support, alone, it will be tight, but I can do it. But they won't consider the fact that I will (hopefully) have a job soon, and that I have family to help in the meantime. So they are threatening to take my house. They say even though I have enough to make all the payments, if I hit one speed bump, I wouldn't be able to handle it.
I'd say 90% of the people in the US are living paycheck to paycheck just like that.
So yesterday I got to go to Carb Day. It was pretty cool. I only got to see the cars run for 11 minutes, because of the rain, but seeing Stone Temple Pilots was worth being in the rain all day! The concert was full of more assholes than usually found in a concert crowd, but I think that was directly proportionate to the fact that you were allowed to bring beer or whatever into the track, so 75% of the crowd was smashed.
The cops were standing over the crowd with paintball guns that had like pepper balls in it. Little balls filled with pepper spray or mace. Whenever someone got out of control, or a fight started, they were pepper balled. Someone near us was shot, and that sucked. My eyes burned, I couldn't stop coughing, and my nose wouldn't stop itching. I also got a wicked headache.
I've always been surprised at the helpful group mentality at a concert. My first concert was like Spin Doctors and Gin Blossoms, I think, and I got in the pit, it wasn't a brutal pit, but I was always surprised at how when someone fell down, those nearest to the faller would stop and make sort of a blockade to protect the fallen from being trampled until they were up again. Even though the crowd was mostly composed of drunk and/or stoned assholes, that attitude was still there.
A girl trying to force her way to the front, tried to get by me. I was trying to hold the spot I was in, so I lied and told her I couldn't move. So she just sort of threw her drunken whore ass between me and the couple I was near, she succeeded in knocking over about 7 people. When the couple got up, the guy started yelling at her, and a fight almost broke out. But everyone around us, who saw what happened, started yelling "Push this bitch to the back." and they all pushed in front of her until she was way back in the back. They passed the word along with her about what she did.
My oldest, Morgan was at the concert, and my brother and Step-Dad hung out with her, so Alex and I could push to the front, so they took Morgan over by the State Police post near the crowd so that it would be mostly safe for her, and she wouldn't be subjected to the usual concert goer behavior (drugs, insanity, and boobie flashing). Morgan stood on a cooler to get a better view, cause she's just short, and at one point a drunk girl knocked her off the cooler stumble/dancing as drunk girls do. Another random drunk girl witnessed this, and apparently ripped her a new ass over knocking over a little girl.
The only part I didn't enjoy about the concert, was that Scott Weiland's constant preaching at the crowd about not drinking too much and not getting out of control. I get that he's all clean now, and I wasn't drinking or anything else, but honestly, it's a bit insulting coming from him. My brother saw him once. He said a group of guys carried him passed out into a bar, the guys all had a bunch of drinks, then carried the still unconscious Scott back out of the bar.
After the concert, there were massive lines at the portable toilets. It was a good 15 or 20 minute wait. Just when Alex got to the front of that potty line, a drunk guy wandered in front of him. Alex said something to him, and the guy said "Look, you are just going to have to kick my ass, because I'm going next." It continued like that for a minute or so, and I was a bit worried, but then the line behind Alex got involved and began getting in the guy's face too, and he just stumbled off.
All in all it was just a great day.
Until Morgan heard something bad and asked me what a blow job was. But that's a story for another time.
Thanks for reading! Sorry I rambled so long!
~Kel
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Catching up, and friendly advice
Things have been a bit busy for me lately. I've been applying for jobs all over, being harassed by well meaning community organizations, and running all over town wasting my $4 a gallon gas.
Fun right?
I still have a blog to write, one of those "You've been tagged" things. I think they sound fun, but I've never actually sat and thought about 10 interesting things about me, or whatever the requirement is. I'm not so sure that I have that many points of interest to tell the truth.
I've had the itch to go camping lately. I really really want to, but I have no idea if I have poles for my giant tent, and for something so primitive, it ends up costing a hellavalotta money.
I was just looking over there in the corner and it informs me that this will be the 97th blog I've posted since joining Myspace 3 years ago. Maybe I'll go insane for my 100th and do something unexpected. I'll have to think on that for a bit.
I don't have much else to say, I have a funny thing to post at the end, but, I will leave you with the knowledge that earlier this week, one of my younger children kissed the cat directly on it's butthole. I won't tell you witch one though, it will make it more exciting for you the next time you visit and one wants a kiss...
On to the funny. This was credited to Dennis Miller when I found it, but you know how things on the internet work.
Dennis Miller's Advice to Men About What Women Want
1 - Foreplay is not a privilege; it is a birthright.
2 - If you take her out to a fancy restaurant, don't try to
subtly steer her away from the lobster, Diamond Jim.
3 - Quit blowing smoke up women's asses about the sanctity
and power they possess as lifegivers and come up with some
decent, affordable childcare. That way, maybe poor single
mothers can go to work and get off welfare and we won't have
to listen to any more idiots in Congress blathering about
orphanages.
4 - Equal work for equal pay. Look around you at work, guys.
Look at... say Carl, the brain-dead jack-off in the cubicle
next to you. You could kill Carl, couldn't you, because he's
a slacking, worthless, toady idiot. Now, imagine making 30
percent less than Carl. Hellooo ...
5 - This is very important: during lovemaking, don't ask,
"Who's your daddy?" Even as a joke. All right? It's not
funny.
6 - When her mouth moves, pay attention, words could be
coming out. Words are kind of important.
7 - Pass a law that makes it compulsory for all over-the-
hill rock stars to have women their own age in their videos.
8 - Don't ask her if she came. You're a big boy now,
Clouseau, you should *know* if she came.
9 - Don't tell her how to merge and she won't tell you to
ask for directions.
10 - When she catches you cheating on her and she cuts off
your dick in your sleep, take it like a man.
Thanks so much for reading!
~Kel
Fun right?
I still have a blog to write, one of those "You've been tagged" things. I think they sound fun, but I've never actually sat and thought about 10 interesting things about me, or whatever the requirement is. I'm not so sure that I have that many points of interest to tell the truth.
I've had the itch to go camping lately. I really really want to, but I have no idea if I have poles for my giant tent, and for something so primitive, it ends up costing a hellavalotta money.
I was just looking over there in the corner and it informs me that this will be the 97th blog I've posted since joining Myspace 3 years ago. Maybe I'll go insane for my 100th and do something unexpected. I'll have to think on that for a bit.
I don't have much else to say, I have a funny thing to post at the end, but, I will leave you with the knowledge that earlier this week, one of my younger children kissed the cat directly on it's butthole. I won't tell you witch one though, it will make it more exciting for you the next time you visit and one wants a kiss...
On to the funny. This was credited to Dennis Miller when I found it, but you know how things on the internet work.
Dennis Miller's Advice to Men About What Women Want
1 - Foreplay is not a privilege; it is a birthright.
2 - If you take her out to a fancy restaurant, don't try to
subtly steer her away from the lobster, Diamond Jim.
3 - Quit blowing smoke up women's asses about the sanctity
and power they possess as lifegivers and come up with some
decent, affordable childcare. That way, maybe poor single
mothers can go to work and get off welfare and we won't have
to listen to any more idiots in Congress blathering about
orphanages.
4 - Equal work for equal pay. Look around you at work, guys.
Look at... say Carl, the brain-dead jack-off in the cubicle
next to you. You could kill Carl, couldn't you, because he's
a slacking, worthless, toady idiot. Now, imagine making 30
percent less than Carl. Hellooo ...
5 - This is very important: during lovemaking, don't ask,
"Who's your daddy?" Even as a joke. All right? It's not
funny.
6 - When her mouth moves, pay attention, words could be
coming out. Words are kind of important.
7 - Pass a law that makes it compulsory for all over-the-
hill rock stars to have women their own age in their videos.
8 - Don't ask her if she came. You're a big boy now,
Clouseau, you should *know* if she came.
9 - Don't tell her how to merge and she won't tell you to
ask for directions.
10 - When she catches you cheating on her and she cuts off
your dick in your sleep, take it like a man.
Thanks so much for reading!
~Kel
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