Saturday, May 17, 2008

Catching up, and friendly advice

Things have been a bit busy for me lately. I've been applying for jobs all over, being harassed by well meaning community organizations, and running all over town wasting my $4 a gallon gas.

Fun right?

I still have a blog to write, one of those "You've been tagged" things. I think they sound fun, but I've never actually sat and thought about 10 interesting things about me, or whatever the requirement is. I'm not so sure that I have that many points of interest to tell the truth.

I've had the itch to go camping lately. I really really want to, but I have no idea if I have poles for my giant tent, and for something so primitive, it ends up costing a hellavalotta money.

I was just looking over there in the corner and it informs me that this will be the 97th blog I've posted since joining Myspace 3 years ago. Maybe I'll go insane for my 100th and do something unexpected. I'll have to think on that for a bit.

I don't have much else to say, I have a funny thing to post at the end, but, I will leave you with the knowledge that earlier this week, one of my younger children kissed the cat directly on it's butthole. I won't tell you witch one though, it will make it more exciting for you the next time you visit and one wants a kiss...

On to the funny. This was credited to Dennis Miller when I found it, but you know how things on the internet work.

Dennis Miller's Advice to Men About What Women Want

1 - Foreplay is not a privilege; it is a birthright.

2 - If you take her out to a fancy restaurant, don't try to
subtly steer her away from the lobster, Diamond Jim.

3 - Quit blowing smoke up women's asses about the sanctity
and power they possess as lifegivers and come up with some
decent, affordable childcare. That way, maybe poor single
mothers can go to work and get off welfare and we won't have
to listen to any more idiots in Congress blathering about
orphanages.

4 - Equal work for equal pay. Look around you at work, guys.
Look at... say Carl, the brain-dead jack-off in the cubicle
next to you. You could kill Carl, couldn't you, because he's
a slacking, worthless, toady idiot. Now, imagine making 30
percent less than Carl. Hellooo ...

5 - This is very important: during lovemaking, don't ask,
"Who's your daddy?" Even as a joke. All right? It's not
funny.

6 - When her mouth moves, pay attention, words could be
coming out. Words are kind of important.

7 - Pass a law that makes it compulsory for all over-the-
hill rock stars to have women their own age in their videos.

8 - Don't ask her if she came. You're a big boy now,
Clouseau, you should *know* if she came.

9 - Don't tell her how to merge and she won't tell you to
ask for directions.

10 - When she catches you cheating on her and she cuts off
your dick in your sleep, take it like a man.

Thanks so much for reading!

~Kel

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